Spirit of Orbona

Nurture and Care for the Orphans

Contact

Questions may be sent to projectorbona@gmail.com.

THE FINAL POST

It has been a couple of years since I updated this blog. I was told by several people that information about the children of Yezidi... Read More

Another Trip to Rojava

Life is what happens while you are making other plans. I don’t quote John Lennon very often, but this accurately describes the delay in writing... Read More

My original plan was one week in Kurdistan and one week in Rojava. It turned out to be two weeks in Erbil and two days in Rojava. So, I came home a few days late, but it was so worth it. All of the progress on Project Ibrahim came in the last three days. Read More

About

In 2019, I was touched by the stories of the Yezidi women as they were released by ISIS (Daesh). Many of these women had given birth to children by their “owners” during the years that they were held as sex slaves. The Yezidis welcomed the women back into the community, but not the children. I hope to share information on the children, so the world will know about them and we can find a way to help them.

THE FINAL POST

It has been a couple of years since I updated this blog. ... Read More

Turkish Drones

Another Trip to Rojava

Life is what happens while you are making other plans. I don’t... Read More

Hopeful Progress

Reality Check

It looks like my trip to Kurdistan will be delayed a little... Read More

Delays

Since I have been asked about my planned trip to Kurdistan, I... Read More

Ibrahim

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THE FINAL POST

projectorbona June 28, 2024 June 28, 2024

It has been a couple of years since I updated this blog. I was told by several people that information about the children of Yezidi women and ISIS fighters was a topic that should not be discussed. Most of those people believe that the children should remain at the orphanage until their mothers are able to get them. For children whose Yezidi mothers do not want them, there is no plan. They will be left at the orphanage, where most people believe they will be forced into the Syrian Democratic Forces when they turn 18.

There were originally 45 children of Yezidi women at the Child Protection Center in Hasakah. Between 20 and 30 of those children have been reunited with their mothers. The number is not clear since the reunions are done very quietly. The mothers have obtained asylum in other countries with their children. To make things more confusing, there have been Yazidi women released from Al-Hol or Roj camps who probably had children by their ISIS captors. But, when the women arrive in Iraq to be reunited with their families, they do not have any children with them. So, it is not clear how many children of Yezidi women may remain in the custody of the Child Protection Center.

Ibrahim, who originally inspired me, is not one of those who was reunited with his mother. After I tried for five years to find a way to adopt him, his mother was granted asylum with her family in another country. She made it clear that her new life did not include Ibrahim. My plans to get custody of him before she left fell apart. While I was trying to find another plan, two people who had been helping me decided that it would be better for Ibrahim if he were removed from the Child Protection Center and placed with a foster family. This was done despite my protests and advice from experts indicating that he would be better off at the Child Protection Center.

While I understand the reasons that Ibrahim was placed with a foster family, it broke my heart. I gave up everything in my efforts to find a way to adopt him, and I failed. I continued to believe that I would find the right people who could make my dream of adopting Ibrahim a reality. But, that dream was taken from me. It was made clear to me after Ibrahim went to live with the foster family that most people consider me delusional, and my delusion blinded me to reality. All I have to show for five years of relentless work is an empty bank account, few friends, and a collection of very deep emotional wounds.

I know that if Ibrahim could have chosen parents, his foster parents are the parents that he would have picked. I hope to be able to visit him someday, but he needs to adjust to his new family. I hope that they will be able to find a way to get legal custody of him and adopt him. I want only the best for him.

There was another little boy at the Child Protection Center that I also hoped to adopt. I am going to continue working toward that goal, even though it may never become a reality. I am planning a book based on my experience with Project Ibrahim. Any money that the book may earn will be split between Ibrahim and the other boy. This will be my small way of helping them have a better life, even if the three of us cannot be a family.

This will be the final post on the Spirit of Orbona blog. I decided to write one final post as I start coming to terms with my failure and the emptiness in my world. I don’t think many people read the blog, so it won’t be missed when I remove it and delete the social media sites associated with it in a few weeks. For those that do take the time to read this post, thank you. Please keep the children and staff at the Child Protection Center in your prayers, as well as Ibrahim and his new family.

Turkish Drones

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Turkish Drones

projectorbona October 25, 2022 October 25, 2022

I know that it has been a while since I wrote anything for this blog. I thought about writing an update, but I wasn’t sure if I had anything worthwhile to share. It feels like I have been in a rut for the last few months, trying to figure out a way to bring Ibrahim to the United States. If I could figure out what to do or who to contact, this would have been much easier to write. I should have been to the orphanage and visited the children by now, but that didn’t happen for a variety of reasons. It now looks like I am leaving for Kurdistan in early November, and I will travel to the orphanage about a week later.

I probably should have written this post in late September, right after Zaynab Saroukhan was murdered by a Turkish drone as she was driving home from work. Zaynab was the Chairman of the Women’s Committee that ran the orphanage where Ibrahim lives. I met her at her office is Qamishli when I visited in February. She was very kind to me, even though she reiterated that the Women’s Committee would only give Ibrahim to his mother, and no one else. I have never agreed with that policy, but that does not stop me from helping the orphanage. Zaynab was devoted to the orphanage. She was a very real presence in the lives of the children. When we arrived in February, several of the children came to talk to her and it was obvious that they were happy to see her. She knew all their names and it was clear that she cared deeply about the children.

Since my visit in February, Zaynab had transferred to the Committee on Prisons and Reform. The person who was murdered with Zaynab in the drone strike outside Qamishli was Yilmaz Sharro, her Co-Chair on the committee. I was not aware that Zaynab had changed jobs, but it explains why getting a response from the Women’s Committee was more difficult than in the past. I have been requesting updates from someone who doesn’t know me and may not understand my dedication to the children at the orphanage.

Zaynab’s death was a brutal reminder that Turkey may kill someone in AANES for no logical reason. It is very difficult to understand how a woman who ran programs for women and children was a threat to Turkish national security. The sad thing is that there are no repercussions for Turkey. Turkey does this all the time. NATO, the EU, and the US say nothing, so Turkey keeps doing it. Zaynab set up the orphanage to take care of toddlers and babies who had no one after their mothers were forced to abandon them, but her life was considered less valuable than Turkey’s NATO membership. It makes me so sad, and I have not decided how to deal with it yet.

I will get to see Ibrahim’s mother when I get to Erbil, but I won’t have anything to tell her about giving her son a better life in the U.S. That also makes me sad. I think part of the reason that I have not written a blog post in months is that it is very difficult for me to assess the current situation with Project Ibrahim without crying. I feel like a complete failure. Most of my friends are tired of hearing me say the same thing that I have been saying for three years. I suspect that most of them expected me to fail, but would never say that to my face. Many of them don’t seem to have time for me because I am not fun or entertaining. On some level, I knew that it would come to this, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Since most of this post is gloomy, I will try to end on a positive note. In a couple of weeks, I should be able to see the children and see how they have grown. I am trying to teach myself to count in Kurdish and I am learning my colors. I have a game of Candyland in my suitcase. I hope to play a game with Ibrahim and some of the other children when I am at the orphanage. I suspect that they won’t be impressed with my Kurdish since I haven’t practiced nearly enough to learn many basic phrases. Hopefully, I can entertain the children. I want to make a difference for these children, and I hope I can find a way to make things better for them on this trip.

A Visit to Kurdistan Hopeful Progress Ibrahim1 Comment

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Hopeful Progress

projectorbona March 4, 2022 March 4, 2022

This post is a little delayed because my long-anticipated trip to Kurdistan and Rojava happened in February. I probably should have written this post the day after I got back, but a huge to-do list and severe jet lag derailed that plan. Some people have already heard the big news from the trip on Facebook, but I will share it again since it was such a huge event for me. I will tell the short version of the story since any trip with me usually has its share of strange occurrences. That seems to be part of my karma. Weird stuff always finds me.

I spent two weeks in Erbil. That was longer than I expected. My original plan was one week in Kurdistan and one week in Rojava. It turned out to be two weeks in Erbil and two days in Rojava. So, I came home a few days late, but it was so worth it. All of the progress on Project Ibrahim came in the last three days. Some of it cannot be discussed because the situation with the children and their mothers is dangerous. I think I have a plan that might actually work to bring Ibrahim to the United States, and I have several people helping me with legal options. At this point, I am not 100% sure that any of them will work. I will not move forward until I know I have a plan that does work. The worst thing for Ibrahim would be to start something that would remove him from his current situation, have that plan fall apart, then he ends up in a situation where his life could be in danger. Please do not think that I am being dramatic with that statement. That is the reality in the Yazidi community. He is the child of a rapist and a murderer who tried to destroy the Yazidis. That is all they see in this precious little boy. It is very difficult for them to understand that Americans do not blame children for the sins of their parents. Unfortunately, a lot of people in Iraq have that opinion of these children and it is heartbreaking. God bless the Women’s Committee of Rojava for providing these little ones with a safe environment.

The biggest event of my entire trip was that I got to visit the orphanage. I met Ibrahim and he is such a sweet boy. He is very friendly, but he seemed a little uncomfortable around me. He doesn’t know that I worked for two years to get a few hours with him, and I am completely fine with that. He also doesn’t know about Project Ibrahim. I was just a visitor to the orphanage that showed up with two suitcases of stuffed animals, crayons, coloring books, and pens shaped like animals. He sang some songs for us in Kurdish with the type of enthusiasm that only small children possess. Even if I am never able to bring Ibrahim to the United States, I will cherish that memory.

I got to meet all of the children at the orphanage when I handed out the presents. I didn’t know how many children were at the orphanage until I got to Erbil. I took enough presents for 100 kids and there were only 47 at the orphanage. The most popular items were not the stuffed animals. It was the Crayola crayons. I attempted to color with Ibrahim, but he pushed my hand away because it was his coloring book and those were his crayons.

The other big news is that I met another little boy that I would like to bring to the United States with Ibrahim. However, I don’t know anything about him other than his name and that he is very friendly. Ibrahim took some time to warm up to me. This other little boy told me his name and gave me a hug. He was also the only child that came running after me when I was leaving. He and Ibrahim are friends, so I hope that it will work out for me to bring both to live with me.

I will end this post with some notes on the wonderful job that the orphanage staff is doing with these children. I knew the children were receiving good care, but I wondered about the emotional needs of the children. I had seen pictures over the last two years. I never saw any of the children smile. My worry has always been that they have forgotten how to smile. I was so wrong. Ibrahim definitely knows how to smile. The other children know how to smile, too. When they figured out that I could take videos of them with my phone, I got mobbed by six little boys and all of them were trying to take possession of the phone. I was losing the battle. One of the ladies who works at the orphanage walked toward the door and said “Who wants chocolate?” All of them headed for the door. So, I am not as important as chocolate on the little boy list of important stuff. That makes me smile.

Delays1 Comment

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Delays

projectorbona November 30, 2021 November 30, 2021

Since I have been asked about my planned trip to Kurdistan, I will start with an update on that. The trip is currently on hold. I will be traveling with a documentary film crew and they are waiting for their budget to be approved. Once they have their funding, we can plan the dates and make the arrangements. I packed one suitcase full of stuffed animals, coloring books, and crayons to take to the children at the orphanage. I also have a couple of children’s coats that I will give to children in Kurdistan (not at the orphanage). I am putting toys in the pockets so the children will have something fun with a new, warm coat.

I am working to make sure that I can cross the border from Iraqi Kurdistan into AANES. It seems like it should be easy, but I need permission from both the Iraqi side and the Syrian side. I am fairly clear on what I need from the Syrian side, even though I have no confirmation that they will actually approve my visit. The Iraqi side remains murky to my American brain. So, I am hoping that I can figure out the red tape before I arrive at the border crossing.

I also started checking into agencies that might be able to help with the adoption process in the United States. This has been amazingly difficult and I have not found a single adoption agency that is willing to get involved. For all their rhetoric about wanting to help children and families, they won’t take any cases that would require them to break from their current processes. This includes those adoption agencies that claim to be operating on Christian principles. There is one agency that I have been trying to contact for two years. They don’t answer phone calls or respond to voice mails. They also ignore emails. The adoption agencies that will respond, all say the same thing: “What a wonderful thing you are trying to do, but it will never happen.” Has the United States really become a place where organizations that are supposed to help children won’t life one finger to help children forced from their mother’s arms into an orphanage in a war zone? Then, I remember my conversation with Save the Children and I know the answer. The children are secondary. Covering operating expenses is the primary objective.

I hit a brick wall with the Jordanian Adoption Authority. They will only handle children that are already in Jordan, or have some tie to Jordan. Ibrahim has no ties to Jordan, so I reached out to a law firm in Amman to see if they could help. I tried to contact them in English and I got no response. I had my email translated into Arabic and I got no response. So, I have crossed Jordan off the list of options. I am looking for legal advice in AANES and Iraqi Kurdistan to help figure out if there is any way to start the visa process in the KRG (Iraqi Kurdistan). We will see if this search turns up any new information that might be useful.

In frustration, I reached out to Amnesty International. Amnesty International was making a lot of noise about the children that were given up by their Yazidi mothers. Based on that, their response was a surprise. They are a human rights organization and they have no expertise to actually help the children. They recommended that I contact the International Committee of the Red Cross and the International Committee on Refugees. So, Amnesty International falls into the same category as Save the Children.

I will reach out to the American Red Cross since they represent the United States on the International Committee of the Red Cross. However, I expect that to be another exercise in futility. The Red Cross uses most donations to cover operating expenses. The chance of them doing something useful for children in Syria is miniscule. There may be some hope for the International Committee on Refugees, but I suspect that they are buried trying to help Afghan refugees and they may not be willing to help children that are not in imminent danger.

I talk about these children to anyone who will listen to me. Everyone thinks it is wonderful that I want to do something to help children who have nobody to nurture them. People offer me prayers. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. But, praying should never be a substitute for action. Unfortunately, the only one taking any action on behalf of these children is me. Everybody else talks, and words become empty after a while.

Ibrahim was two when I first started trying to bring him to the United States. He is almost five now. He will be starting school soon and he is getting to an age that will make adjusting more difficult. That knowledge is like a weight pressing down on me every single day. But, no matter how hard I try, the door never opens. My continued hope is that someone reading this blog will have the key.

Someone who read my last post told me that I seemed sad. I don’t think I am sad. I think disappointed is a better way to describe how I feel most of the time. I am disappointed that I have nothing to show for two years of effort. I am disappointed that no organization has done anything for the children. I am disappointed that the AANES government seems to have no long-term strategy for the children, other than waiting for the mothers to come get them. And, I am disappointed that the United States of America, champion of the oppressed and doer of great things, has gotten lost in a morass of bureaucracy. However, there is still hope that someone will decide to join me in my quest. That is the only thing that keeps me from giving into the nagging sense of failure that is with me every day.

When you trade freedom for security, you get neither. – Benjamin Franklin

Is Anybody Listening?1 Comment

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Is Anybody Listening?

projectorbona October 14, 2021 October 14, 2021

I had expected this blog post to include the final preparations for my trip to Kurdistan, but we have not determined the date for the trip. At this point, I expect that we will probably be going in November. I heard a rumor that the children had been moved to their new facility. If that is true, I hope that they are settled and enjoying their new surroundings.

There was a small glimmer of hope when Ilham Ahmed, President of the Syrian Democratic Council’s Executive Committee, came to Washington, DC. She is the head of the government of the Autonomous Area of North and East Syria. She was here to meet with Congress, the State Department, and several organizations that are interested in helping AANES. She was here for two weeks and I asked to meet with her to talk about the children. After I made three attempts, it was more than obvious that I did not fit into the agenda for her trip and the children at the Child Protection Centre are not a high priority. I have been very depressed for the last two week over that realization.

I did attend Capitol Hill Day with In Defense of Christians. I spoke about AANES and Turkey’s ongoing war crimes there. I made it very clear that the United States needs to continue supporting AANES. I wore a button with Ibrahim’s picture on it during the Zoom meeting with Congressional staff members. I talked about him and how much I wanted the children at the Child Protection Centre to have a better life. Since this was the first time that I did something like that, I tended to rely on anecdotal stories, rather than a list of talking points. I will make sure that I am better prepared next time. I doubt that I did much more than plant a seed of curiosity.

As I was grappling with feelings of futility, I got a reminder that the domain for spritoforbona.com will need to be renewed in a month. This reminded me of how long I have been writing posts about these children and how much I want to help them. Project Orbona has started to feel like one of those initiatives that people commend and applaud, but none of them feel inspired to provide any tangible assistance. So, it is still me, my network, and this blog. I have learned a lot in the last year about all things Kurdish and the dysfunction of the international immigration system. But, I have nothing tangible to show for all my efforts.

It has been two years since I figured out the location of the orphanage and made contact. In those two years, I have talked to a lot of people and many of them want to help. But, the situation has not changed. The orphanage continues to maintain that the children cannot be adopted because the children will eventually be reunited with their mothers. Twelve children were reunited with their mothers, but the reaction of the Yezidi community was overwhelmingly negative. So, the reunion of the children with their mothers does not appear to be realistic.

As I reflect on all my effort, it is extremely disheartening to realize that I might be able to meet Ibrahim, then be forced to leave him with no guarantee that I will ever see him again. I have been in contact with Jordan’s Adoption Authority, but they indicated that the child must be in Jordan to start the process for a U.S. visa. I need some clarification on whether Ibrahim and I could cross the border into Jordan, then start the visa process. But, this looks like it will be complicated.

Any plan to get Ibrahim into the United States will be contingent upon the Autonomous Area of North and East Syria giving me custody of him. At this point, they are continuing with the message of “This will never happen.” So, I have to make a decision on how much longer I want to bang my head against a wall before I change tactics. From my standpoint, I have three choices:
• Admit failure and leave Ibrahim to his fate as an orphan, hoping for the best in a part of the world that looks like a powder keg.
• Start to make some serious noise, including petitions, protests, phone calls, and a campaign focused on getting Ibrahim to the United States.
• Accept the fact that Ibrahim can’t come to the United States and start making plans to go work at/near the orphanage so I can be near him.

I am not sure how many people read this blog, so I need to decide how much longer I want to continue writing posts. I decided that I would do a few more just for me, so I will know how hard I tried to help Ibrahim for two years. I think there will be a lot of tears over the next few weeks as the realization that nobody cares about these children becomes more concrete. All of the kind words and offers of assistance were only words. I believe that everyone is sincere, but not concerned enough to take action. I have started to wonder how many would show up if I planned a rally to bring attention to the children and their need for loving homes. The truth is that it would probably be just me.

You don’t concentrate on risks. You concentrate on results. No risk is too great to prevent the necessary job from getting done. – Chuck Yeager